Assimilated Press, Washington D.C.- The FBI reported today they have located the source of the ubiquious scam e -mails being recieved over the last 4 months by most everyone in the world. Because of diplomatic immunity however no charges will be filed. Call the FBI at 1-800-T42-6669 if you have not recieved the following message in your inbox.
Your Urgent Help Needed
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
Our Wall Street Thugs need your help, they may be forced to buy plain old plumbing instead of gold toilets if their 20 million dollar bonuses are not increased this year.
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