Reason's Greetings!

  

On this day a savior was born of a virgin, she wrapped in swaddling clothes & laid him in a manger. The ox & the ass bowed down before him. Three kings from the orient came from afar bearing precious gifts.
Then a spaceship landed and the Grays attempted to kidnap him; but Moses, Hercules, Santa & Underdog fought them off.

Frustrated, they used the time machine from the Philadelphia Experiment to materialize in 1977 (you know, the year of two sevens according to Nostradamus) which is when they founded the Bavarian Illuminati. Being able to travel through time they killed Einstein because  he knew too much... as well as JFK because the Grays are really in the CIA and are Cuban.  They hypnotized the U.S. government  into spending billions of dollars shuttling Elvis from Roswell to the Bermuda Triangle and back in black helicopters stopping occasionally to make lovely designs in cornfields or to allow Elvis to get a snack (all those cattle mutilations). Yes the world, and indeed the universe is run by a shadow cartel of evil conspirators who despite being able to remain completely secret and unknown to millions, take over every government,  control every aspect of mankind's destiny, and impose their fancy on  everything; somehow just can not resist leaving clues on major public monuments and currency and are powerless against some guy with a sign about it screaming on a New York City corner.  This of course makes the lesser known Batman villain look like Professor Moriarty.

Reason's Greetings from the staff at National Buffoon!