Junk Food You May Not Want To Buy

By National Buffoon Food Editor Thaddeus Creosote Esq.

JUNK FOOD FROM HELL

Stop into any convenience store, ask the clerk for this sweet treat, and you’ll receive the keys to the men’s restroom.

This is always a perennial favorite among Republican Senators.
"It's toe tappin' good" - Senator Larry Craig

Be sure to always examine your chocolate logs to make sure you are getting enough marshmallow bits in your diet.




Really? What is this? liquid Viagra? What's up with that logo?...Never mind.





One may be able to ignore the name itself until you look at the shape of things to come...so to speak.



I'll pass, thank you. Would this be a hard candy?



Uncle Joe's wintergreen toes are in a different can.





Well there's a lot of excitement behind this product...

Perhaps not the best of advertising firms was employed by Starburst.

The wizard of ooze....

No comments are required....but the look on the faces of the kids on the box says it all. Ouch!

One of the major sources of daily vitamin requirements...yup.

Does anyone crave one of these? These candies really stink.

This begs the question...why can't she do it herself?



Soylent Green now comes in your favorite flavors!

Oh come on now, language difference aside, they had to know.

Wha? Is this made from Strawberry Daiquiri concentrate?

Um...er... better change your sheets...

Well, at least this is named ironically with some intent involved.

It's not really "nuevo", and I'm passing on these...be my guest though....

How would you describe this? Piquant perhaps?

It's chunky!

Who says size doesn't matter?

Crack one open today!

Best served warm of course...

It's the real thing!

A new James Bond Femme Fatale? No it's ....

(Bet you can't eat just one!)




Oh my!

A good source of Vitamin C, or was that chlamydia?

Do you know where Maynard has been?

Alas poor Grandma, she suffered from dementia but maniac? I wouldn't go that far.

....The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.