How Do You Celebrate Festival Of Sleep Day? (January 3rd)

January 3rd is Festival Of Sleep Day.

by National Buffoon
Somniloquent Reporter 
BARB BITUITTE

The Festival Of Sleep Day
is one of the most unanticipated
and unimportant holidays
in all of human inactivity.

Remember friends,
sleep allows human bodies to rest, heal, & develop.
Sleep aids in memory processing and preservation.
While the lack of sleep, or poor sleep;
can have multiple negative effects
                                                 on the inhuman body and mind.

First, find a comfortable place to snooze...

HOW TO CELEBRATE

STEP 1 -  Decide whether you want to sleep alone, with someone else, a pet or stuffed animal.
 cuddle with your pet while you take a nap; if the pet escapes, you can always punch them in the face. If you chose to sleep with someone else & they attempt to leave, sedate them (for sedative choices, consult an expert.)

STEP 2  - Determine how long you wish to "celebrate".
You may opt for a power nap because you have work to accomplish later, a cat nap for a few hours, or quality time with your pillow for the entire day. Don't tell yourself that you need to wake up and do something productive instead of sleeping. If you can't sleep, just stay in bed all day!

STEP 3 -Dress appropriately. Proper sleep wear is critical for comfortable snoozing.
Be sure to count each layer of blanket material as one layer in general.

Sprawl out on a bed, sofa, hammock, or any comfortable setting. This is a day to become one with the siesta, so however you position yourself is up to you. You can have your feet propped up on the sofa's arm rest instead of squishing yourself on the cushions, have a foot planted on the ground if you are in a hammock so you can rock back and forth while going to sleep, or drop your drawers and hang your butt out the window if it's temperate outside...if not just press your buttocks to the pane.

STEP 5 - After lazing about, ask yourself if you feel more refreshed than before sleeping.
Sleep is healthy and refreshes the body for the next day. Also, today is Fruitcake Toss day.
After napping be sure to hurl a fruitcake at the 1st person you see.