Showing posts with label Imbeciles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Imbeciles. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Monumental Stupidity





We have a consensus among the general population,
 that we would like to see those who were not born
 with fully functioning mental faculties achieve as much as they can in life.
 Aside from Eugenics fans ,
 programs that help the developmentally disabled 
are generally supported by most folks. 
It has become obvious however, that the Republican Party 
has taken this concept way too far. 
The GOP seeks out the dullest dullards 
and most blithering of idiots among them….. 
and selects them to occupy the highest political offices.
I suggest this is not conducive to a functional society.
Sadly, the average GOP voter can not spell “society,” 
let alone comprehend what might be bad for it. 

Why Do Republicans Gleefully Embrace Idiots as Candidates?

The question naturally begs a larger question: 
How can a nation, with the world’s highest national GDP
and extremely complex systems regulating everything from credit default swaps
 to nuclear missile safety, possibly allow onto its national stage
 men and women of such obvious inferior intellect?

One might say that there has been a long, pathetic history of anti-intellectual paranoia in American politics. This was documented  by author Richard Hofstadter in his book Anti-Intellectualism in American Life (1963).  You might say that It is like Cerberus, very difficult to defeat. You  chop off a head here or there and another one bites your ass.
No matter how advanced the U.S. becomes in technology, biomedicine, and weaponry, it only attracts a confederacy of dunces of ever decreasing skills and mental capacity as Presidential candidates. This has never been more apparent than this election cycle.

The first impression we might observe is that in Kindergarten, Americans are told that any citizen can grow up to be an astronaut, a millionaire basketball star, or President. Obviously this does not mean that simply any idiot can be an astronaut. It takes a wide range of skills, training, and experience to be considered for a space mission. Nor can any buffoon who buys  sneakers play basketball well.
In America the idea is promoted that no training or knowledge is required to perform a job that is not only more complicated and demanding than piloting spacecraft or being an athlete, but one which regulates these occupations and all sorts of other complex and nuanced occupations around the globe (including undercover agents in foreign lands).
You will do as you are told!

 It baffles me that you can attract a huge amount of support in this country precisely because you lack qualifications to be president. Such reasoning is, in effect, the raison d’etre of all so-called “outside-the-Beltway” campaigns of recent vintage. However, to fully grasp why inexperience, incompetence and outright stupidity has such an emotional hold on Republicans in particular, you have to understand a core principle of conservative orthodoxy: intelligence equates with moral relativism. Which is why, after twice-electing a genuine, but fatally corrupt, thinking person in Richard Nixon, the Republican Party moved away from its historically pragmatic approach in search of imbecilic ideologues. Naturally, this paved the way for conservative extremists, who, while short on brainpower— or perhaps BECAUSE they were short on brainpower, were long on rhetoric and deception. Republican voters have stuck to “party principles” like maggots to rotting meat. When I asked one conservative I know a few years ago how they could possibly support such an obvious dullard as George W. Bush,  they answered “Because I don’t trust the smart ones.”
  
"I am not a smart one!"
     Ronald Reagan became the first of many unambiguous dimwits to animate the corpse of the conservative  monster. Yes, with this post-Nixon strategy, the dwindling GOP intellectual fringe (historically held up by William Buckley, and arguably dieing when he died)  has had to stomach gasp-inducing ignorance of foreign policy basics (e.g., Sarah Palin not knowing that there is a North and South Korea, or her hysterical notion that Sputnik bankrupted the Soviet Union). But, at least they knew their standard-bearer was not going wishy-washy on them (i.e., thinking hard ).
This scheme worked so well with Reagan, it naturally attracted other knuckleheads. First came George Bush Sr.’s running mate, William Danforth Quayle, who promptly displayed his latent stupidity in public at every opportunity. He and his supporters took bold  stances against common sense, Murphy Brown (not even a real person), and spelling.  

The country as a whole was not sufficiently stupid enough yet to actually tolerate a presidential campaign from the likes of Quayle. But after two terms of an intelligent commander-in-chief, Bill Clinton, the country was sufficiently demoralized (not by the notion that a president had sex outside his marriage, after all that has been fairly common throughout the history of the office even though in past administrations this kind of personal crap was not considered newsworthy, but rather because for his entire 8 years some kind of witch hunt was always in progress thanks largely to serial adulterers Newt Gingrich and his page buggering colleagues discussing oral sex on every news outlet and Sesame Street.
America was now sufficiently brain damaged enough to manipulate into complete and utter idiocy.

Enter  Stage Right - George W. Bush, who, like Reagan, enjoyed two terms in office, despite beliefs in brazen poppycock such as Intelligent Design and in the whopper of all disastrous absurdities, that Saddam Hussein was not only Marshalling weapons of mass destruction to directly attack the U.S. (no, he was bluffing to deter his real enemy, neighboring Iran), but that he was also behind 9/11 (never let a good crisis go to waste, eh Mr. Cheney?). Only a true rube could ever believe such specious nonsense. And G.W. Bush – who exemplified the adage, “Never ascribe to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity” — fit the bill. The Republican Party loved him for it, bending over backwards to sanitize and “Hannitize” his many blunders, while selling his disinformation to a gullible American public, further brain damaged from the attacks of 9/11.
At last count, the Iraq Detour has cost this nation trillions of dollars (with more trillions to come, as this country rightfully must keep its commitment to care for wounded and mentally shell-shocked Iraq War veterans and their loved ones). It also cost the lives of 125,000 Iraqi civilians, and many times more than that who’ve been wounded or displaced by the Iraqi misadventure. All because of a lie and Americans’ willingness to either believe that lie or not forthrightly contest it. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the empirical cost of stupidity.

Ron Zombie
 After the costly policy blunders of Bush, Jr. — for which this country is still paying dearly in lower credit ratings and draconian cuts in funding for parks, libraries, basic services, education, health, and more.  Our current president has had to spend his entire term cleaning up this Republican mess. However, for reasons racial, political, and anti-intellectual (President Obama is too cosmopolitan, uses words that are too big, he is too nuanced, too calm, too Europe-friendly, etc), Republicans have aggressively sought to cut Obama’s tenure short placing brinksmanship far ahead of economic recovery or the best interests of the country. Fortunately, this time around they lack a bona fide, morally unequivocal, conservative with enough general election appeal to take Obama on.
In this election, the 2012 "candidates" are not qualified to be scout leaders, or dog catchers. let alone be placed in charge of a nation with nuclear arms.
Each hopeful successor to the Republican Dumbass Throne (the most coveted RDT) has proven so cartoonishly dopey as to offend even the intelligence of diehard Iowa Republican primary voters, easily the most unbending conservatives in the U.S.
 





Monumental Stupidity
Celebrating stupidity IS an American exceptionalism, 
 I sure wish we’d do the hell away with it. 
There should be no pride in being deaf to reason, 
and insisting that day is night is not a reason to hold your head up proudly.
Republican voters ought to be truly appalled by what they’ve done, 
and what they’re still trying to do.
I’m sure they would be,
 if they weren’t all morons.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Hall Of Stunning Idiocy


There exists a ponderous bulk of obtuse and subnormal quotations, echoing about the canyons of crass canards, valleys of vile vignettes, and the mountains of malaise. Reprehensible remarks reverberating recklessly through the time space continuum. Embarrassing to all who are unfortunate enough to be within earshot or share the minutest quantity of DNA with the elocutionist responsible for such nonsense! As a public disservice, National Buffoon has compiled many of the worst right here for your reading displeasure. Proceed with caution, as many of these pearls of wisdom, if contemplated, have indeed caused the cessation of higher brain functions.

"I am not a crook!"
The Nauseating Nixon Years...
"This is a great day for France!"
--President Richard Nixon while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral

"What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?"
--Richard M. Nixon

"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
--Richard M. Nixon

I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say.
--Richard M. Nixon

"The press is the enemy. "
--Richard M. Nixon

"There can be no whitewash at the White House."
--Richard M. Nixon

"When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal. "
--Richard M. Nixon

"John Lennon is a paradox because he is difficult to judge by the normal standards of civilized life ... His main reason for being is to destroy, blindly and indiscriminately, to tear down and provoke chaos ..."
--J.Edgar Hoover Memo to Nixon

U.S President Bush, the bellwether bungler of banter...
"The fact that (Gore) relies on facts - says things that are not factual - are going to undermine his campaign." George W Bush, New York Times 4th March 2000

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." George W Bush, during a debate in St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000



"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." George W Bush, Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce." George W Bush, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

"Boy, they were big on crematoriums, weren't they?"
George W Bush, after touring the Auschwitz death camp, Chicago Sun-Times, 29th January 1992

"Reading is the basics for all learning."
George W Bush, 'All Things Considered', National Public Radio, 28th March 2000

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself."
George W. Bush, Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

"The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership."
George W Bush, White House, Oct. 28, 2003

"There's a lot of things that there's misconceptions. Evidently it's a misconceptions that Americans believe that Muslims are terrorists."
George W Bush, Aboard Air Force One, en route to Australia, Oct. 22, 2003

From the venomous forked tongue of the Gestapo's Swastika Girl....

"[Canadians] better hope the United States does not roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent."
Ann Coulter on Fox News 30/11/04

"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo."
Ann Coulter writing in her column on 21/12/05

To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."
-- Ann Coulter, MSNBC

"We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too. Otherwise they will turn out to be outright traitors."
-- Ann Coulter, CPAC convention, February 2002

"I have to say I'm all for public flogging."
-- Ann Coulter, MSNBC, March 22, 1997



Gargantuan among gauche and gaffe givers...the feculent facilitator of the floundering faux pas...

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle

"My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right."
Dan Quayle, in a speech to the Christian Coalition

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
Dan Quayle


For NASA, space is still a high priority."
-- Dan Quayle
Dullards, dunces and dandies of driveling dupery...

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
Alan Minter, Boxer

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"Facts are stupid things."
-- Ronald Reagan

"If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they don't have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they're relatively rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn't matter, you know. These things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets, a female may be again dramatically better than a male who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes."
--Newt Gingrich

"We'd like to avoid problems, because when we have problems,
we can have troubles."
- Governor Wesley Bolin

"I've always thought that under populated countries in Africa are vastly under polluted." --Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

AGHHH!

"Life is very important to Americans."
--Bob Dole, U.S. Senator from Kansas

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"Where the hell is Australia anyway?" --Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"It's not so much a thankless task, it's more a job with no thanks"
- Colin Baker, ITV


"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job."
-- George Bush

"Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country."
- Ian Rush

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
--Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House


"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do."
--Ronald Reagan

"More and more of our imports come from overseas."
--George W Bush


Reductio ad absurdum, rancorous pseudo-religious rants and proselytizing poobahs...


"I don´t know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."
--George Bush

"The Christian community has a golden opportunity to train an army of dedicated teachers who can invade the public school classrooms and use them to influence the nation for Christ." American Presbyterian Minister James Kennedy

"AIDS is not just God´s punishment for homosexuals; it is God´s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals." American Jerry Falwell founder of the Thomas Road Baptist Church

"Nobody has the right to worship on this planet any other God than Jehovah. And therefore the state does not have the responsibility to defend anybody´s pseudo-right to worship an idol." American Joseph Morecraft of the Chalcedon Presbyterian Church

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."American Pat Robertson who founded the Christian Coalition

"The earth is flat, and anyone who disputes this claim is an atheist who deserves to be punished." Saudi Arabian Sheik Abdel-Aziz Ibn Baaz, author of a Muslim religious edict written in 1993

"This is not the homo land. This is the Holy Land. It´s inappropriate here. Jerusalem is not a Greenwich Village, huge gay bar. It´s Jerusalem, the Holy City." American Rabbi Yehuda Levin talking about a proposed Gay Pride march in Jerusalem

"I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over you. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good... Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a biblical duty, we are called on by God to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism."
--Randall Terry, The News Sentinel, (Ft. Wayne, IN.)

"We are to make Bible-obeying disciples of anybody that gets in our way."
--Jay Grimstead, February 1987

"So let us be blunt about it: We must use the doctrine of religious liberty to gain independence for Christian schools until we train up a generation of people who know that there is no religious neutrality, no neutral law, no neutral education, and no neutral civil government. Then they will be get busy in constructing a Bible-based social, political and religious order which finally denies the religious liberty of the enemies of God."
--Gary North

"This is our land. This is our world. This is our heritage, and with God's help, we shall reclaim this nation for Jesus Christ. And no power on earth can stop us."
--D. James Kennedy


"The Church doesn't believe in book-burning, but it believes in restricting the use of dangerous books among those whose minds are unprepared for them."
--Francis J. Lally, American Roman Catholic Monsignor

"When you know the LORD you have no need for masturbation."
--Brice Wellington

"The judges need to be intimidated, they need to uphold the Constitution. If they don't behave, we're going to go after them in a big way."
--Tom DeLay

"Only stupid parents would leave their children in the filthy, immoral, dangerous, public 'education' institutions for indoctrination by socialists."
--J.M. Sutherland, The Christian Alert Network


"If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush Administration again, all right?"
- Bill O Reilly on finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, March 18, 2003

(Where is that national apology? Last I checked Bill was proudly falafeling Bush.)

“The public perception … that you go to a 7-Eleven and grab beer, cigarettes and a lottery ticket. That’s not all we’re about.”
– 7-Eleven CEO Joe DePinto ( reminding consumers that his brand is also about milk and candy bars , I imagine.)


"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
--Prince Phillip


"What do you think about that?"
--Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID), after handing his Senate business card to the police officer who arrested him for attempting to solicit sex in a Minneapolis airport mens room.

"Like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime."
--Rep Mike Pence (R-IN), describing his visit to a Baghdad market where a suicide bomber killed 88 people a few months earlier. Pence and the other members of the U.S. delegation visiting the market were wearing bulletproof attire while surrounded by 100 soldiers in armored Humvees and attack helicopters.

Still more odoriferous verbiage....

We understand the importance of having bondage between parents and their children.
--Dan Quayle

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.
Doug Collins, basketball commentator

"I think incest can be handled as a family matter within the family."
-- Jay Dickey Jr., U.S. representative from Arkansas

"We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
--Carol Malia

"I am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my business to do intelligent work." --Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, asked to estimate the number of Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress, Feb. 16, 2005

"So many minority youths had volunteered…that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself."
--Tom DeLay, explaining at the 1988 GOP convention why he and vice presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War

"The truth is that for reasons that have a lot to do with the U.S. government bureaucracy, we settled on the one issue that everyone could agree on, which was weapons of mass destruction, as the core reason."
--Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, "Vanity Fair" interview, May 28, 2003

"Only one thing would be worse than the status quo. And that would be for the status quo to become the norm."
-- Elizabeth Dole, U.S. senator

"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me."
-- Miriam Ferguson, Texas governor

"Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating
the sanctity of life."
-Orrin Hatch

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between
a man and a woman"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"My party is demonstrating that they are for states' rights unless they don't
like what states are doing."
Christopher Shays, Republican congressman of Connecticut

"When a man is asked to make a speech, the first thing he
has to decide is what to say."
Gerald R. Ford, US President

“This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.”
– G.W. Bush, as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002
“The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our
number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.”
–Dubya, Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not
that important. It’s not our priority.”
–Dubya, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002



“Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?”
–Dubya, Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000