Buffoons On The March

Former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien discovers
that it's very hard to look cool if your in charge of the military
and you wear your helmet backwards.

"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
- Donald Rumsfeld

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
- George W.Bush

"The difference between Sly Stallone and me is I am me, and he is him."
- Arnold SchwarzeneggerPardon me, but your Freudian slip is showing

Sometimes we have what is referred to as a Kinsley Gaffe or "Washington Gaffe".
Telling the truth by accident.
When a politician says something inadvertently in public
which he or she privately believes to be true,
but which he or she would ordinarily refrain from saying publicly
since he or she believes the statement would be politically harmful or damaging.
The term comes from journalist Michael Kinsley,
who famously said, "A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth."
He first coined the term in The Guardian on January 14, 1992.




"We are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed"
--Ronald Reagan







"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Former Vice President Dan Quayle, Sept. 15, 1988


"I stand by all the mis-statements that I have made..."
-The American former Vice President Dan Quayle
has been a leading buffoon for quite a while now.
The man was born with his foot in his mouth.
"I have no problem communicating with Latin American heads of state
- though now I do wish I had paid more attention to Latin when I was at school."



On another occasion he told befuddled Western Samoans:
"You all look like happy campers to me.
Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been,
and as far as I am concerned, happy campers you always will be.
Then he told passing mourners at a funeral to "have a nice day".

Margaret Thatcher once addressed a meeting:
"It is marvelous to be back in Malaya"
The only trouble was that she was in Indonesia.

Kenneth Clarke, the former Tory Chancellor,
while addressing a group in Consett in March, 1995
said
"At Consett, you have got one of the best steelworks in Europe.
It doesn't employ as many people as it used to because it is so modern."
(The factory had closed it's doors in 1980.)
As if that weren't enough to convince the people of Consett
that Clarke knew little of their plight and cared less
he further insulted them by saying...
"Consett is also one of the major centers for disposable baby nappies (diapers)."
That factory had closed down four years before Mr Clarke made the speech.

U.S. President Nixon landed at a Norfolk air base in the late 1960s
and publicly praised "Prime Minister Macmillan".
Harold Wilson was Prime Minister.

Even Brits, who are known for keeping a stiff upper lip,
must find it trying to stay in form on occasions like these.
A year or two later, Marshal Tito, the Yugoslav leader arrived at Heathrow,
walked straight past Prime Minister Edward Heath,
who had his arm outstretched in welcome,
and shook hands, instead, with his baffled chauffeur.


James Watt,
an oil company lawyer,
who Ronald Reagan sardonically appointed Secretary of the Interior
said he had formed an advisory group comprising
"a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple - and we have talent".

Anyone not insulted yet?




The undefeated chump,
er,chimp,
um, champ...yes champ
of course needs little introduction.

The Former President G.W. Bush

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th." -- Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

"And there is distrust in Washington.
I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town.
And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."
--interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007


"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,
and so are we.
They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people,
and neither do we."
--Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

(watch the clip)



Bush also said
"You can fool some of the people all the time,
and those are the ones you want to concentrate on."


"The problem with the French is
that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."
(entrepreneur, is of course; a French word.)



HEY REPUBLICANS!

DON'T FORGET TO DONATE TO THE BUSH LIBRARY!





Dear Fellow Constituent: The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations.
The Library will include:

1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.


2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.


3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.


4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.


5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.

 

6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.

7. The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.

8. The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.

9. The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.

10. The Iraq War Room.
(After you complete your first visit, they make you go back for a second,
third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)

 11. The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location,

complete with shooting gallery.

12. The Environmental Conservation Room,

still empty.

13. The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.

14. The Airport Men’s Room,

where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.

15. The Decider Room, complete with dart board,

magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.  

The library will also include
many famous Quotes
enshrined on plaques
by
George W. Bush:


1. ‘The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.’\

2. ‘If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.’

3. ‘Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.’

4. ‘No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.’

5. ‘I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.’

6. ‘One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.’

7. ‘Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.’

8. ‘I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.’

9. ‘The future will be better tomorrow.’

10. ‘We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world..’

11. ‘One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.’
(during an education photo-op)

12. ‘Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.’

13. ‘We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'

14. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
--GWB at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C.


PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!

Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff:
Co-Chair
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors

Though we are all mere buffoons passing through the sands of time,
some are nothing more, passing gas and wasting time.
Wouldn't recognize a glimpse of truth if it fell on them.
They are The Buffoons Extraordinaire.
The Elite Republican Guard of trumpery.
The laurel wreath of subnormal ignorance rests proudly on their swelled heads.

Remember folks-

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

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It's A Blunderful Life - Bollocks, Boobs, Blunders & Valentines Day

THE MASSACRE

Valentine's day looms balefully before us.

Yes folks, on this day we commemorate the relationship;

...no not the one your involved in,

but the historic relationship between Al Capone and Bugs Moran.

This is the single most contrived holiday ever invented

for the purpose of picking pockets and advancing consumerism.

The orthodox method of celebration however

is to purchase some item which is then exchanged for sexual favors.

This of course is completely different from prostitution. Of course it is.

I imagine we all have our own ways of celebrating,

I for instance will stimulate the Mexican economy with the purchase of a fine bottle of tequila.

Which brings us to considering for a moment

Freud's contribution to buffoonery-

"The great question - which I have not been able to answer is, - What does a woman want?"

- Sigmund Freud

With romance and conspicuous consumption in the air,

it seems Freud's "great question" has finally been answered!

(By buffoons of course!)

The answer is in "the Kabakoff Affair".

(No, it's not bad episode of "The Man From U.N.C.L.E.")

Robert Kabakoff was riding his bike in Central Park while listening to tunes on his MP3 player one day. He passed a young woman who was sunbathing with her skirt hiked up and her derriere fully exposed. Kabakoff snapped a photo to document the "happy ending" with his cellphone from a polite distance (the bike path, 15 feet away). Another woman with our bare bunned sunbather noticed and took offense. The police were called in and Mr. Kabakoff was handcuffed, arrested, and spent the night in jail.

Apparently there is a law that, according to the New York Daily News outlaws "unlawful surveillance". This is a felony in that jurisdiction. Naturally, this "unlawful surveillance" concept only applies to private citizens as the local government allows itself a Larry Craig wide stance when it comes to surveillance latitude. As part of the patriotic paranoia offered up as a "solution" to religious extremists hi jacking airplanes, New York City has been involved in a government surveillance scheme known as the Lower Manhattan Security Initiative, which involves the installation of about 3,000 surveillance cameras and 100 license-plate readers in the business district south of Canal Street. Apparently, no one seems to oppose this extreme level of government intrusion. After all, as Randy Newman pointed out in A FEW WORDS IN DEFENSE OF OUR COUNTRY "A president once said We have nothing to fear but fear itself... now we are told we should be afraid, it's patriotic in fact, color coded...)


PIRATE BOOTY

What a weirdo wonderland we have created. Is Bloomberg BEHIND this? The National Buffoon will get to the BOTTOM of this issue! Admitedly, Kabakoff's behavior was tacky, a social faux pas. Yet there's nothing intrinsically abusive about taking a picture in a public space, especially if the particular subject of the photography is treating the public to generous views of her mudflaps. Not to be insensitive, but privacy in a public park is quite limited to say the least. Surely many passersby observed the caboose that day – Kabakoff merely recorded the event for posterior, er, posterity.






Kabakoff received $8,000 as settlement and left for a European Vacation.I hope he didn't bring his camera.So to answer Freud's question. "What does a woman want?"
A women wants you in handcuffs.


Happy Valentines Day!

The National Buffoon spotlights...what else?
BUFFOONS.
Not just any ordinary run of the mill buffoons mind you,
but extraordinary buffoons!
 

From the pompous executives at Decca records,
Mike Smith and Dick Rowe who claimed
"Guitar groups are on their way out"

while passing up signing the Beatles in 1962,
to the engineer at the Advanced Computer Systems at IBM who said
"But what ... is it good for?" in 1968, commenting on the microchip.


If electricity comes from electrons, where does morality come from... morons?
And why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?
And why on earth are instructions needed on shampoo?
Buffoonery is nothing new. It is a time honored tradition.

A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
There is an Assyrian tablet dated at 2800 BCE.
It says- The Earth is degenerating today.
Bribery and corruption abound.
Children no longer obey their parents,
every man wants to write a book,
and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching".

 Cardinal Bellarmine, in a Letter to Foscarinin, April 12, 1615 wrote-
"First, . . . to want to affirm that in reality the sun is at the center of the world and only turns on itself without moving from east to west, and the earth . . . revolves with great speed around the sun . . .is a very dangerous thing, likely not only to irritate all scholastic philosophers and theologians, but also to harm the Holy Faith by rendering Holy Scripture false. Nor can one answer that this is not a matter of faith, since if it is not a matter of faith "as regards the topic," it is a matter of faith "as regards the speaker"; and so it would be heretical to say that Abraham did not have two children and Jacob twelve, as well as to say that Christ was not born of a virgin, because both are said by the Holy Spirit through the mouth of the prophets and the apostles."
What a buffoon. 

"To throw bombs from an airplane will do as much damage as throwing bags of flour.
It will be my pleasure to stand on the bridge of any ship while it is attacked by airplanes."
-Newton Baker, US minister of defense (1921)
What a buffoon.

.

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country
and talked with the best people,
and I can assure you
that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
-Prentice Hall, editor in charge of business books, 1957

What a buffoon


I suspect we are all buffoons,
some perhaps more given to slaphappy activity than others.
But as we stumble through our lives,
from time to time we trip over some remarkable insights,
giving the impression that we are not chowderheads.
Yet the truth is we are indeed both fools
and trenchant sophisticates in our own ways.  



Even August Comte, the French Philosopher
who created the Law of Three Stages,
which states that a society is a whole,
and each particular science,
develops through three mentally conceived stages;
Theological Stage, Metaphysics or Abstract Stage,
and the Positive Stage
(known as Positivism: which emphasized reason and logic)
managed to fire this one off-
"Every attempt to employ mathematical methods in the study of chemical questions must be considered profoundly irrational and contrary to the spirit of chemistry.... if mathematical analysis should ever hold a prominent place in chemistry -- an aberration which is happily almost impossible -- it would occasion a rapid and widespread degeneration of that science."


A further proof of man's dual nature follows:
"Radio is just a fashion contrivance that will soon die out.
It is obvious that there never will be invented a proper receiver!"
-Thomas Edison

"640Kb ought to be enough for anybody."
-Bill Gates, 1981

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
-Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-Ken Olson , President, Chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
-Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872


"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
-Irving Fisher, 1929


"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
-Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

It's Deja Vu All Over Again

In the mid-1970s, the executives at the W.T. Grant variety store chain,
one of the U.S.'s largest retailers at the time,
decided that the best way to increase sales was to increase the number of customers
… by offering credit.
It put tremendous “negative incentive” pressure on store managers to issue credit.

Employees who didn’t meet their credit quotas risked complete humiliation.
They had pies thrown in their faces, were forced to push peanuts across the floor with their noses,
and were sent through hotel lobbies wearing only diapers.

Eager to avoid such total embarrassment, store managers gave credit “to anyone who breathed,”
including untold thousands of customers who were bad risks.
W.T. Grant racked up $800 million worth of bad debts before it finally collapsed in 1977.
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So much so, numerous financial institutions have since adapted and tried to perfect the process!

 
               

It's The Stupid Economy!

The Stock Market dropped over 500 points.
McCain's response?
The economy is "fundamentally sound"!
The same infamous phrase Herbert Hoover used
reacting to to the historic crash of 1929.

The economy is stupid!
One need not be a Wall Street wizard
or hold a PHD in economics
to understand that some things have intrinsic value
and some things don't.
Aside from the obvious shenanigans in the mortgage industry,
the idea that the fox must be trusted to guard the chicken coop
is plain wrong.

American's reduced to standing in soup lines to survive in the 1930s

History has a nasty habit of repeating itself when people ignore it's lessons.
What caused the great depression?
In the 1920's a stock market boom-bubble in the U.S. was powered by generic optimism. The The businessmen and economists were convinced that the invention of the Federal Reserve would stabilize and guide the economy, that expanding markets were guaranteed. People, by and large
felt their standard of living was safe or would improve.
In 1928 and 1929 speculators were creating artificial bubbles
in the Stock Market, driving prices up.
(sound familiar?)
The Federal Reserve raised interest rates in an effort to curb speculation.
This caused the initial recession.

Workers stood idle because firms would not hire them.
Firms would not hire workers because there was no market for their goods.
There was no market for goods because workers had no incomes to spend.
Workers had no income because they had no jobs....
on and on....

At some point,
in the US, an uncomfortable unspoken agreement was struck.
Business recognized that unless there was a healthy middle class,
no one would be buying their goods.
This bargain has been breached in recent years.
The US workers were tossed aside
in favor of inexpensive labor elsewhere.
Public and environmental safeguards
have been avoided by manufacturing in nations that have no such laws.
When the lack of laws protecting consumers becomes evident-
as in tainted pet food, poison infant formula, lead paint on children's toys,
firms wring their hands of responsibility and blame
the workers in those countries whom they are exploiting.
What Americans need to understand is that
despite the short lived profits from cheap labor and shoddy goods,
the future is being sold at a cut rate price.
The idea is to take 95% of Americans
who we call the middle class,
and reduce their standard of living to match the 3rd world.
Only a very few benefit from that,
and only very temporarily.


The American middle class shares the same fate as the polar bear.

McCain admitted he knows nothing about economic matters.
The fellow he appointed to write his economic policy
was Phil Graham - one of those most directly responsible
for the current meltdown on Wall Street.
(the same miscreant elitist
who said America's middle class were a bunch of whiners)
BTW, if McCain by his own admission knows nothing about economics,
why was he on the commerce committee?
Even if he knew nothing before that, didn't he pay any attention while he
"served" on that committee?

Believing the very politicians who fought for the conditions that caused the economy to fail
are going to fix it is simply insane.

"The future will be better tomorrow." -George W. Bush
I think, for once, I agree with him.

THE HALL OF GREAT REPUBLICANS

In this issue, National Buffoon salutes the miscreants, mobsters, molesters, abusers, convolutes, debasers, debauchers, degenerates, demoralizers, and pedophiles of the depraved and inherently corrupt Grievous Old Party!
Does it seem as if there is a Republican exposed as a hypocritical blight on the human gene pool every single day of the year? Maybe it's because there is! Though other political animals may try, they are mere amateurish neophytes in both quality and quantity. There is no competition, the Republicans have dominated the field in modern times and no other group even comes close (Except for mega-preachers and their ilk, but they are merely a subgroup of the republicans anyway.)
Now without further adieu, let's begin the salute!

THE HALL OF GREAT REPUBLICANS
Awards for most flagitious bizzare behavior-

Florida state representative Robert "Bob" Allen, Arrested at a Veteran's Memorial Park for solicitation of prostitution from an undercover male officer inside a restroom. According to the Orlando Sentinel Bob "offered to perform oral sex for $20". Ironically the Republican lawmaker actually co-sponsored a bill months before his arrest that would have increased public sex charges from a misdemeanor to a felony. The proposed bill addressed "unnatural and lascivious acts or exposure or exhibition of sexual organs" within 1,000 feet of a park, school or child care facility. He claimed he offered to give the officer a hummer and give him 20$ as well, because he was afraid of black people. The officer was a black man and was not there to look into prostitution, but was on a stake out regarding a burglary. Is this a secret Republican tactic? If your a fat Floridian white republican guy, the best way to deal with people of different skin colors whom you are unrealistically afraid of, is to offer fellatio and 20 bucks? Yeah, that is some excuse Bob. You just made National Buffoon's Buffoon of the year!!! But your already in Disneyland.

The Vile and Unfathomably Repugnant Award

John David Roy Atchison, Republican prosecutor, was arrested for soliciting sex from a 5-year old girl. For pedophiles like John David Roy Atchison, I hope there's a worse hell than the one he created for his small victims. He had been communicating with a woman he thought was the child's mother in Detroit. She was an undercover policewoman. He thought she had a five year old daughter with whom he allegedly wanted to have sex. According to court transcripts and the Detroit News, (he was arrested in Detroit, on his way to rape the 5 year old), he expressed a desire to engage in oral, vaginal and anal sex with her fictitious daughter. Records show at one point, he wrote: “I’m always gentle and loving; not to worry; no damage ever; no rough stuff ever ever.” He assured the undercover officer that the girl would not need medical attention, saying, “I can be absolutely sure; just gotta go slow and very easy is how; I’ve done it plenty.” Atchison killed himself three weeks later. (perhaps to avoid what outraged parents would do if they got their hands on him). At the time he was arrested, Atchison was an assistant U.S. attorney appointed by Bush's attorney general, Buffoon extradinaire, and constitution slayer - Alberto Gonzales; who frankly, should follow Atchison's example. (The American people would be happy to buy the bullets for you Gonzo, it would be the best use of taxpayer money since 2000). Ironically Atchison's boss, Gregory Miller, was appointed by Bush in 2002 as US Attorney for Northern Florida. He was proud of his record of hunting down pedophiles who use the internet to lure their prey or who possess child pornography (unless of course, they are right under his nose).

The Republican Token Black Groper Award

E. Ozwald Balfour, chairman of the Utah Republican Black Assembly (How many Blacks are in Utah? 10?) and elected to the Republican State Central Committee in 2007, even though he was awaiting trial on four felony counts of forcible sex abuse dating back to his arrest in February, 2005. Oz lured models and actresses into his lair by running an ad claiming he was producing a children's movie. When women showed up for an audition, he allegedly ripped their shirts off and groped them. There was no film. In Utah, can a man accused of sexual assault, awaiting trial, rise to a position of prominence in the GOP without raising an eyebrow? This, the party known for it's slogans of family values and moral indignation says "you bet!"

The Posthumous Loathsome Twit Award

Slab Jockey honors go to St. Petersburg Fl. Republican city councilman, John Bryan who killed himself after police began investigating allegations that he had molested three girls, including two of his adopted daughters, ages 12 and 15. Way to go John!
(Seems a lot of these vicious predator republicans hail from Florida...something in the water?).

THE LARRY CRAIG AWARD

Larry Craig Republican Senator for Idaho, was arrested on July 11, 2007, by plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport airport men's room. On August 8 in Hennepin County Municipal Court in Bloomington, Minnesota, Craig entered a guilty plea and paid a $500 fine after trying to use his office to persuade the arresting officer he was above the law. On September 1st, Craig subsequently announced his retirement from the Senate. Five days later, Craig changed his mind, renounced his retirement and began a battle to have his guilty plea overturned. Craig has been an outspoken opponent of rights for gays.

ATROCIOUS IGNORAMUS AWARD

John R. Curtin, Monroe County Pa. state Republican committeeman, was convicted of:

* Sexual assault (felony)

* Contacting or communicating with a minor to commit a sexual offense (felony)

* Indecent assault without the other's consent

* Indecent assault through forcible compulsion

* Selling or furnishing alcohol to minors

* Corrupting minors

* molesting an underage boy and sentenced to serve six to 18 months in prison.

Fallacious Freaky Fiend Award

Richard Curtis, Washington State Representative, an outspoken critic of gays who opposed a gay rights bill that banned discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. In spring of 2007, he voted against domestic partnerships for gay and lesbian couples and resigned from the House after reports of his sexual encounter with a male escort became public. ( Lingerie, rope, stethoscopes—Rep. Curtis is a very kinky girl!) This is a bizarre tale. The link reveals more details than perhaps you'd really care to know. Not only is this idiot a horrendous hypocrite, this loser is a moron as well. After telling police he had anal sex with a man whom he claims took his wallet, he also denies being gay. Just cause you have sex with your own sex doesn't make you a homosexual...um...what does? John? Now that is some Republican doubletalk! (Runner up for the prestigious "steaming pantload award".

THE PUGNACIOUS PEDOPHILE AWARD

Donald Fleischman, Seriously now folks, just because they voted against the SCHIP bill, it doesn't mean that Republicans don't care about poor kids. Take Donald Fleischman, for example. Mr. Fleischman is chairman of the Brown County Republican Party (Wisconsin) and here's how he demonstrated his love for children ...the Brown County, WI, Republican Party Chairman, resigned his post after he was charged with two counts of child enticement, two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a child and a single charge of exposing himself to a child.

Ted Klaudt, South Dakota State Rep., found guilty of four counts of second-degree rape of two teenage foster daughters. The South Dakota lawmaker is accused of molesting his own foster children and legislative pages. Klaudt, 49, a Republican rancher from Walker, faces a long list of charges: eight counts of rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, two counts of witness tampering, sexual contact with a person under 16, and stalking. Apparently Klaudt sees himself as an amateur gynecologist, the girls say Klaudt had them convinced they could earn up to $20,000 by donating their eggs to a fertility clinic. And even though he has no medical training, the girls say Klaudt did all the supposed "exams" and "procedures" himself.

Robert McKee, Republican delegate from Western Maryland, announced his resignation after authorities seized two computers, videotapes and printed materials from his Hagerstown home in a child pornography investigation. McKee also resigned his position as executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Washington County.He is a former chaplain for the Hagerstown Jaycees and is a trustee and community services chairman at First Christian Church. McKee has been involved in youth athletics and children's groups, according to his General Assembly biography. He has served in officer positions in two Little League groups and as secretary of a parent and child center advisory committee.

Ronald C. Kline, Republican Judge in Orange County, CA, pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer after six years of legal wrangling.

Patrick Lee McGuire Flagler County, Florida, Republican Commissioner, surrendered to police after allegedly molesting young girls. One victim, who is now 16, told detectives McGuire molested her when she was between the ages of 8 and 9. The second victim, now 24, said she was 12 and 13 years of age when McGuire began his molestations. McGuire will be behind bars until 2012.

Really Demented Old Guy Award

Joseph McDade, longtime Pennsylvania Republican congressman who served for 36 years in the House and now works for a Washington lobbying firm was arrested for exposing his genitals in public. According to Sanibel police reports, McDade was seen "masturbating on the beach and by the pool area of the hotel" by three witnesses on Jan. 18. According to the Naples Daily News-"The first complainant, a woman whose name was redacted from reports, told officers she saw McDade masturbating 10 to 15 feet away from her while she was on the phone. A second witness, a man whose name was also redacted, reported McDade followed his wife from the beach while masturbating." The third witness reported a similar scenario, saying McDade watched her leave her lawn chair at the beach, and proceeded to follow her while masturbating.

Reports said the third witness "continued stating she thought Mr. McDade was a mental patient because he did not try to hide himself while he was masturbating and he was masturbating in front of everyone at the resort." Children were present in the hotel and on the beach.

Jon Matthews, a self righteous Republican talk show host in Houston, was indicted for indecency with a child, including exposing his genitals to a girl under the age of 17. The 61 year old was ordered to spend three years in prison after a Fort Bend County judge revoked his probation from a similar incident.
The state claimed Matthews violated several terms of the probation he received two and half years ago after he pleaded guilty to exposing himself to an 11-year-old girl. Matthews did not dispute the claims made in court.

Joseph Monteleone Jr., Elyria city councilman, was found guilty of fondling underage girls and asking them, to have sex with him.

The Coveted Dracula Trophy

Glen Murphy, chairman of the Clark County Republican Party and president of the Young Republican National Federation, resigned both posts, after the Clark County Sheriff’s Department began investigating Murphy for alleged criminal deviate conduct. A 22-year-old man claimed that Murphy performed an unwanted sex act on him while the man slept in a relative’s Jeffersonville home. During the investigation, a similar accusation from 1998 came to light. (Why is a 30 some year old pervert in charge of the "young republicans" anyway? Is this how they get recruits?)



Schenectady County , N.Y. Republican election commissioner Armando Tebano has resigned his $75,000 a year position after being charged with sex crimes involving a 14-year-old girl.
(Tebano is married to Schenectady County Court Judge Karen Drago, also a Republican.)

Mark Foley, Republican Representative, Florida Sixteenth Congressional District. Resigned after trying to solicit sex from male congressional pages via an instant messenger program. The conversations included his asking a sixteen-year-old "stud" whether his penis was erect and requesting that he take out and measure his penis. The cover-up involved Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner, Ohio Eighth Congressional District and then Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert, Illinois Fourteenth District.

Steve Aiken, campaign manager for a Republican candidate for Congress in Arizona, former Quakertown, PA, police officer and self-proclaimed reverend, was convicted of having sex with two underage girls. The self-proclaimed reverend met the underage teens in Pennsylvania through YouthQuest, a Christian counseling agency. According to testimony by the victims, reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer, Aiken "came into her room while she was asleep, undressed her and began to rub her breasts." Aiken reportedly forced himself on the girl about 15 times in the course of four months, according to the Inquirer. According to the Allentown Morning Call, at his sentencing hearing in June 1996, Aiken said, "Steve Aiken's days of helping kids are over." Yeah, we would hope so! In addition to his political activities, Aiken also hosts a weekly radio program on KVOI in Tucson. Aiken's website includes a "help wanted" page seeking high school or college students to work as volunteer interns on the radio program.

Kids, don't apply for a job with this loser.

Louis Beres, chairman of the Christian Coalition of Oregon and chairman of the Multnomah County Republican Party. (Multnomah County includes Portland). The Oregonian reported that "Louis Beres, longtime chairman of the Christian Coalition of Oregon, molested three female family members when they were pre-teens." He vehemently denied the charges at first but eventually confessed. (Like Tom Delay, Foley, Hastert ,etc., etc.)

Evil Buffoon Award

Howard L. Brooks, 61 year old Republican legislative aide and adviser to a California assemblyman, was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography. He bragged about his many young victims in a pen pal letter written to a prisoner which was intercepted by prison officials. Police suspect there are many more victims as he was director of a YMCA at one time. What a creep.

Randall Casseday, Washington Times newspaper executive, pleaded guilty to soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl on the internet. ( The Washington Times is owned by Republican bankroller, Reverend Moon.)

Larry Corrigan, Republican operative and Director of Operations and Budget at King County Prosecutor's Office, OR, was arrested for soliciting sex from 13-year old girls. He sent explicit photos of the sex acts he wanted to engage in to a 13 year old, who was really a police officer.

Carey Lee Cramer GOP political consultant and anti-Kerry ad producer, tried for molesting two young girls, one of whom lived with him, and was 8 yrs old; the other starred in his anti-Kerry commercial.


Jim Gibbons, US Rep. and Republican Governor of Nevada (He doesn't live in the Governor's mansion though, his wife threw him out) escorted a cocktail waitress to her car after drinking with her, and then allegedly assaulted her. He has also been under FBI investigation for a no-bid contract to a long-time friend and campaign contributor. He has taken a firm stance against illegal immigrants, but has long exploited one as a nanny. The Wall Street Journal published a story stating that Gibbons had earmarked several millions of dollars to a company owned by Warren Trepp, as well as added additional funds to a pre-existing government contract with Trepp's company. The report noted that Trepp had paid for a $10,000 cruise for Gibbons and his wife, which Gibbons failed to report, and $100,000 in campaign contributions. A former Trepp business partner claimed that Gibbons was also given gambling chips — convertible into cash — and cash directly. On February 15, 2007, the Journal reported that Gibbons was under federal investigation for allegedly accepting unreported gifts and/or payments from Trepp in exchange for official acts while he served in Congress.

According to reports, days before Trepp and his wife left for the Caribbean cruise with Gibbons and his family, Jalé Trepp, Warren’s wife, sent a reminder to her husband. It said, “Please don't forget to bring the money you promised Jim and Dawn (Gibbons).” Minutes later, Trepp responded, “Don't you ever send this kind of message to me! Erase this message from your computer right now!” The U.S. Attorney for Nevada at time of the investigation was Daniel Bogden, who was one of seven federal prosecutors forced out of his job by the Bush administration for looking into this and other corruption issues in December of 2006. He is quoted here on those who opposed the Iraq Invasion- "Tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, hippie, tie-dyed liberals should go make their movies and their music and whine somewhere else…. It's just too damn bad we didn't buy them a ticket to become human shields in Iraq." What a buffoon!

Jeffrey Ray Nielsen, Christian conservative activist and lawyer with close ties to Republican Congressman Dana Rohrabacher and Scott Baugh, head of the Orange County Republican Party, was arrested for having sex with a 14-year old boy. After his arrest, police found thousands of images of child pornography on his home and work computers. As reported by California's Orange County Weekly during Nielsen's trial, the defendant's legal team had originally argued that the 14-year-old boy's claims of a sexual relationship were imagined. "Did Mr. Nielsen and Mr. Doe meet? Yeah, they did. Did they go to his house? Yeah, they did. But it's a hopeful leap to believe that they must have had sex," said Nielsen defense attorney Paul Meyer in February, according to the Weekly. Claiming the boy "built a fantasy," Myer warned the jury not to be misled. "Jeff Nielsen is a conservative guy, responsible, caring and very family-oriented. He cares about people." Of course he confessed after a mistrial was declared. Following this initial mistrial, and a subsequent confession, prosecutors also "filed charges involving a 13-year-old they said Nielsen had molested repeatedly while living at the boy's family's Virginia home back in 1994," according to the paper.

The GOP Forms A Partnership With Satan Awards

Jeffrey Patti, Republican Committee Chairman, was arrested for distributing what experts call "some of the most offensive material in the child pornography world" - a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

I'm sure GOP fans can make their own list of Democrats or other parties who have been naughty. But ask yourself if it compares to the magnitude of this list which could continue on and on, (but won't, as I'm getting nausea just researching it. This article is not comprehensive. There is still an exhaustive abundance of materials available it was simply researched via search engine until the author became weary of the project. We did not even look at greed and corruption yet for instance).

Here are a few more for your viewing displeasure...

* Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

* Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

* Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor. we’re just getting started, kids.

* Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for attempted rape of a juvenile.

* Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

* Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

* Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

* Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a juvenile.

* Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

* Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

* Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

* Republican Congressman Donald “Buz” Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

* Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges.

* Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

* Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

* Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a minor working as a congressional page.

* Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

* Republican governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had sex with a 16 year old when he was 28.

* Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

* Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

* Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with a juvenile and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

* Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

* Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

* Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was arrested after allegedly offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

* Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

* Republican anti-gay activist Earl “Butch” Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

* Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

* Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

* Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

* Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to minors under 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

* Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was charged with sexual misconduct involving a 15-year old girl.

* Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a child.

* Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

* Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

* Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

* Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

* Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

* Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

* Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

* Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

* Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a “good military man” and “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

* Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

* Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

* Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

Edison Misla Aldarondo, Republican legislator, was sentenced to 13 years in prison for molestation of his daughter and her friend for eight-year period starting when they were 9.

Randal David Ankeney, Republican activist, arrested on suspicion of sexual assault on a child with force. He faces 6 charges related to getting a 13-year-old girl stoned on pot and then having sex with her. Also accused of sexually assaulting another girl.

Jim Bakker, televangelist with Pat Robertson at Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting network. Committed adultery with Jessica Hahn and then used charitable donations to pay her hush money. Indicted on 23 federal charges of fraud, tax evasion, and racketeering .

Merrill Robert Barter, Republican County Commissioner, pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

Robert Bauman, Republican congressman and anti-gay activist, was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Parker J. Bena, Republican activist and Bush Elector, pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography (including children as young as 3 years old) on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

Howard L. Brooks, Republican legislative aide and advisor to a California assemblyman, was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

John Bolton Bush’s appointee ambassador to United Nations, corroborated allegations that Mr. Bolton’s first wife, Christina Bolton, was forced to engage in group sex have not been refuted by the State Department.

Mike Bowers Former State Attorney General, prosecuted the famous Bowers vs. Hardwick case, based on Georgia anti-sodomy laws. Admitted to a 10-year adulterous affair.

Andrew Buhr, Republican politician, former committeeman for Hadley Township Missouri, was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Ted Bundy campaigned for the Republican Party. Infamous serial rapist who murdered 16 women.

Jim Bunn Congressman of Oregon: With his success due in great part to support from the Christian Coalition, Bunn won his congressional seat, then left his wife (and mother of his five children), married a staffer, and put his new wife on the state payroll with a salary of $97,500.

John Allen Burt, Republican anti-abortion activist, convicted of sexually molesting a 15 year old girl at the home for troubled girls that he ran.

Dan Burton, Republican Congressman who, while married, fathered a child by another woman.

George W. Bush, Republican president, accused in a criminal complaint and lawsuit of raping Margie Schoedinger, who later committed suicide. Accused by Tammy Phillips, a former stripper quoted in the National Enquirer in 2000 saying she had an affair with Bush that had ended in 1999.

John Butler, Republican activist, was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

Ken Calvert, Congressman (R-Ca), champion of the Christian Coalition and its “family values.” Sued as an alimony deadbeat by his ex-wife. Said “We can’t forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky.” In 1993 he was caught by police receiving oral sex from a prostitute and attempted to flee the scene.

Helen Chenoweth, Congresswoman (R-Id.). Admitted to a six-year adulterous affair with a married associate. In 1995, Chenoweth had denied the affair when asked about it by The Spokane Spokesman-Review, but now she claims a pardon from a higher authority: “I’ve asked for God’s forgiveness, and I’ve received it,” she revealed.

Keola Childs, Republican County Councilman, pleaded guilty to sexual assault in the first degree for molesting a male child.

Kevin Coan, Republican St. Louis Election Board official, arrested and charged with trying to buy sex from a 14-year-old girl whom he met on the Internet.

Dan Crane, Republican Congressman, married, father of six. Received a 100% “Morality Rating” from Christian Voice. Had sex with a minor working as a congressional page.
The House voted for censure Crane, the first time that censure had been imposed for sexual misconduct.

Paul Crouch Televangelist, Former President of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). Paid $425,000 in hush money in an attempt to cover up a gay affair. C'mon America, keep sending money to these ass clowns.

Richard A. Dasen Sr., Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, convicted of sexual abuse of children, promotion of prostitution and several counts of solicitation, enough to add up to a sentence of 126 years in prison.

Richard A. Delgaudio, Republican fundraiser and Bush Yes Man, was found guilty of child porn charges.

Peter Dibble, Republican legislator pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

Nicholas Elizondo, Director of the Young Republican Federation molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

John Fund, of the Wall Street Journal, a prominent anti-abortion columnist and GOP fund raiser. He lost his position after it was revealed that he impregnated the daughter of an old girlfriend and then encouraged her to abort his child.

Jeff Gannon- Republican Partisan blogger with no journalism credentials and a fake name who got invited to Bush’s Press conferences is also a pimp and a gay prostitute.

Jack W. Gardner, Republican Councilman, had been convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl. when the Republican Party, knowing of these crimes, put him on the ballot.

Richard Gardner, a Nevada State Representative (R), admitted to molesting his two daughters.

Newt Gingrich, married three times. Gingrich campaign worker Anne Manning admitted that she gave Newt oral sex while he was still married to his first wife. Informed one wife he was filing for divorce while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer treatments. But do you all remember his pretend indignant outrage over Bill Clinton's hummer?

Philip Giordano, Republican mayor sentenced to 37 years for forcing two 8 and 10 year old girls to perform oral sex on him in his City Hall office.

Rudy Giuliani, may be more of a threat to marriage than any gays. Judging from his disregard for the vows.

Matthew Glavin, president and CEO of the Southeastern Legal Foundation, big player in the Clinton Impeachment, and many anti-gay jihads, has been arrested multiple times for public indecency, one time fondling the crotch of the officer who was arresting him.

Mark A. Grethen, Republican activist, convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Jon Grunseth, Republican businessman and candidate for Minnesota governor, withdrew his candidacy after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter, and tried to grope one.

Dr. W. David Hager, Bush appointee, member of Focus on the Family’s Physician Resource Council, player in movement to ban the morning-after-pill. Had an adulterous affair, before divorcing his wife he sexually abused her, including sodomizing her in her sleep.

Mark Harris, Republican city councilman who is described as a “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

John Hathaway, Republican Senate candidate, was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

Howard Scott Heldreth, anti-abortion activist who gained fame during the Shiavo media-circus, was convicted of two charges of raping a child in 2002. (Maybe he had "a thing" for vegetables too eh?)

Mike Hintz, a First Assembly of God youth pastor, introduced by Bush on the campaign trail, and promoted his policies. Says he supports Bush’s values. Two months later, this married father of four turned himself into police, charged with the sexual exploitation of a child.

Neal Horsley has called for the arrest of all homosexuals. Admitted on the Fox News Radio’s The Alan Colmes Show, that he’s had sex with mules.

Tim Hutchinson, divorced his wife of 29 years to marry a congressional aide he was having an affair with.[60]

Henry Hyde, Judge who oversaw Clinton’s impeachment proceedings, prominent opponent of reproductive rights, who had an extramarital affair with a woman who was married and had three children, during the course of which she and her husband were divorced.

Don Haidl, Assistant Sheriff of Orange Country, in violation of California’s rape shield law, led a smear campaign against the child his son poisoned and then violently gang-raped on videotape, adding up to 24 felony counts. He said that his son “acted accordingly” because the child was a “slut”.

Paul Ingram, Republican Party leader of Thurston County, Washington, pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Earl Kimmerling, sentenced to 40 years in prison after he confessed to molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

Lewis Libby, former Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff to Vice President Dick Cheney. In 1996 published a novel containing bizare sexual content, including beastiality and pedophillia.

Rush Limbaugh, Mr. Family Values- triple-divorcee, 30-pill a day drug addict.

Bob Livingston, former Congressman (R-La.) resigned from the House in the wake of revelations about his past adultery.

Donald Lukens, Republican Congressman, was found guilty of having sex with a minor - a girl he was accused of sleeping with since she was 13.

Pat McPherson, Douglas County Election Commissioner. Arrested for fondling a 17-year-old girl.

Jon Matthews, Republican talk show host in Houston, was indicted for indecency with a child, including exposing his genitals to a girl under the age of 17.

Jeff Miller, (R-Cleveland), Senate Republican Caucus Chairman in Tennessee and the sponsor of Tennessee's Marriage Protection act, is divorced (as of April 2005) because of an affair he was having with an office aid. Miller described the Tennessee Marriage Protection Act as a means of preserving the sanctity of marriage. He opposed an amendment, however, which stated that adultery is deemed to be a threat to the institution of marriage and contrary to public policy in Tennessee.

Nicholas Morency, Republican anti-abortion activist, pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Sue Myrick, Congresswoman (R-NC), describes herself as a “devout Christian.” Committed adultery with a married man.

Bill O’Reilly Right-wing conservative talk show host on Fox News, sued for sexual harrassment by his producer.

Bob Packwood, Senator (R-Ore.), resigned in 1995 under a threat of public senate hearings related to 10 female ex-staffers accusing him of sexual harassment.

John Paulk, lied about prowling for gay sex while running a fundamentalist group to "cure" gays.

Brent Parker Utah State Representative. Arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer posing as a male prostitute.

John E. Peterson, Congressman (R-Pa), accused of sexual harassment and creation of a hostile work environment by six women. Peterson has refused to admit a crime, saying only “I may have been an excessive hugger.”

Harvey Pitt, SEC Chief under George W. Bush until he was forced to resign in 2002. Worked for New Frontier Media, a firm which distributed teen sex videos.

Mark Pazuhanich, Republican judge, pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

George Roche III, carried on a 19 year affair with his son’s wife, while serving as president of , which “emphasizes the importance of the common moral truths that bind all Americans, while recognizing the importance of religion for the maintenance of a free society.”
Beverly Russell, County Chairman of the Christian Coalition, sexually molested his step-daughter, Susan Smith, who later drowned her two children.

Jack Ryan, 2004 Republican nominee for US Senate from Illinois, pressured his wive, actress Jeri Ryan, to have sex with other men. Tricked her into visiting sex clubs, where he asked her to have sex with him while others watched.

Joe Scarborough, former Republican Congressman, currently a conservative talk show host. Resigned his congressional seat abruptly to spend more time with his family, amidst allegations of an affair. His intern, Lori Klausutis, was soon after found dead in his office. The medical examiner, who had his license revoked in for falsifying information in an autopsy report, and suspended in for six years, ruled the case an accident, after giving conflicting information about her injuries. He said he lied about them because “The last thing we wanted was 40 questions about a head injury.”

Ed Schrock, two-term republican congressman, with a 92% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. Cosponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment, consistently opposed gay rights. Married, with wife and kids. Withdrew his candidacy for a third term after tapes of him soliciting for gay sex were circulated.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, right wing conservative radio host. Promotes family values, estranged from her mother, opposes birth control, has had her tubes tied, espouses saving oneself for marriage, admits to having had sex before she was married, opposes adultery, has committed adultery while she was married, and has slept with a married man, opposes divorce, is divorced and remarried, has posed for nude photos which are available online.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Republican governor, had sex with a 16 year old when he was 28.

John Scmitz, right-wing republican congressman, who had had his committee chairship taken away from him in the California State Senate after issuing a press release attacking Jews, feminists and gays. Forced out of office in 1982 for having an adulterous affair and fathering two children out of wedlock with one of his students. He was caught because his baby was admitted to hospital for having hair tied so tightly around his penis that it was almost severed. His daughter, Mary Kay LeTourneau, was convicted of having an adulterous affair with one of her students, and giving birth to two of his children.

Larry Jack Schwarz, Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, fired after child pornography was found in his possession. With his political career over, he went to work in the hard-core pornography industry for Platinum X Pictures, owned by his daughter, porn starlet Jewel De’Nyle (Stephany Schwarz).

Jim Stelling, Seminole County Republican Party chairman who believes in “family values”, as he told a judge. Filed a defamation lawsuit againt Nancy Goettman, a former county GOP executive committee member, for falsely claiming he had been married six times. Stelling has been married 5 times.

Don Sherwood, Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Eventually admitted to an affar with a woman 30 years younger than him, after she accused him of physical abuse and attempting to choke her.

Tom Shortridge. Republican campaign consultant, was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr., Republican City Councilman, pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

Craig J. Spence, Republican lobbyist, organized orgies with child prostitutes in the White House during the 1980s.

David Swartz, Republican County Commissioner, pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Randall Terry, Right to Life activist, founder of Operation Rescue, involved in the Terri Schiavo protests. Once imprisoned for sending former President Bill Clinton an aborted fetus. His son Jamiel is gay; his daughter Tila had sex outside of marriage, became pregnant, had a miscarriage - she is no longer welcome in his home; his daughter Ebony had 2 children outside of wedlock and became Muslim. He has campaigned against infidelity and birth control, gays and unwed mothers. Terry himself was censured by his church after committing adultery.

Bill Thomas Republican congressman, had an affair with Deborah Steelman, a health care lobbyist who steered huge campaign gifts to Thomas’ war chest.

Strom Thurmond, republican senator and racist, raped and impregnated a 15-year old African American maid who worked for him.

Robin Vanderwall, Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate, director of Faith & Family Alliance, (a Christian Coalition spin off), former student of Pat Robertson’s Regent Universtity, member of Ralph Reed’s inner circle who funneled money to and from lobbyist Jack Abramoff to Reed , convicted in Virginia for soliciting sex from a 13-year-old-boy and on four other counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

Keith Westmoreland, a state representative (R), was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to minors under 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

Stephen White, Republican preacher. Was arrested after allegedly offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

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