Wednesday, March 17, 2010

N.J. Under Attack By Giant Monster!

The state of New Jersey has found itself under siege today, assailed by a corpulent beast described by eyewitnesses as having forked tongues, multiple chins, and a trail of bankrupted "all you can eat" buffets in tow. The monster was created by Dr.Rovenstein with funding provided by Robber Baron's R' Us Inc.. Masquerading as a human being, the political beast; AKA Christopher Christie, after eating a nearby infant, announced he was declaring a smorgasbord emergency; granting vast sweeping powers to his office that allows funding targeted for unnecessary wasteful programs like Education, Police, Fire depts. and other frivolous emergency agencies to be channeled instead to the morbidly obese and obscenely wealthy where it belongs! In a related story he has annexed the pine barrens for use as his personal toothpicks.

National Weather Service Announcement
Due to the massive catastrophic global atmospheric effect of N.J. Governor Christie's
flatulence, The National Weather service has begun naming his farts.

No comments: