Saturday, May 14, 2011

Cheese Creationism Taught In Texas Text Books

Posted By
National Buffoon Science Correspondent:
Dr. Zachary Smith

As anyone can see from this actual photo the moon is made of cheese.

Scientists have criticized revisions to the Texas science curriculum, saying that many of the changes (scribbled in, using crayons) were rewritten to please a dental assitant & his largely uneducated friends who managed to get themselves elected to the Texas state school board by offering free dental checkups and "Truth" brushes (regular tooth brushes that have the word "truth" printed on them) to voters. The scientists claim the new textbooks are inaccurate and would affect textbooks and classrooms far beyond the state's borders. But those scientists are wrong. Why should anyone listen to them? What do they know about science anyway?

"In the beginning Gouda created the heavens & the earth" and he said "this is grate".
According to the ancient scribblers who wrote the Bible while wandering around herding goats in the desert for some reason, Goulda created the universe of cheese in 6 days. This primarily why the creator is known today as the "Cheese Wiz".
Everyone knows that folks 2 or 3 thousand years ago knew much more than people today about the universe and other large things. And everyone also knows a handful of fundementalists in Texas should decide what children learn in public schools.
Here are some exerpts from the real experts:

"One small step for romano..."

In 1969, while exploring the moon astronauts found a strange vehicle on the surface.

Yaba Daba Deutronomy

According to ancient videos unearthed by top biblical scholars at Bob Jones University and sausage manufacturing plant, the prophet Fred Flintsone visited the moon long ago. Undeniable as the evidence is, many inferior science books do not cover this event at all.
Today we know this is true because it says so in the video.

Man was not meant to live by Provolone According to the unearthed video evidence Goulda had a son named Cheesus who appeared to Fred and revealed his will to him. Afterwards he dictated the story of the garden of Edam. "Brie fruitful and don't camembert false witness" he said. Fred retorted "telemea more". Cheesus then revealed in his own Krafty whey the Emmental truths of the universe. Today we know these teachings as Fondue-mentalism. "Comte unto the lard" as it says in the goulda book.

Well the point is that the moon is made of cheese.
And Fred Flintstone was the first man on the moon.

So sayeth The Texas board of education.

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