ROVE TAKES NEW POSITION IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR

Rove bids the American public whom he served a fond farewell

Washington D.C., amalgamated press -Political villain Carl Rove, known as "Bush's Brain' ( and we all know where his brain is located) resigned in an effort to escape prosecution amid calls for a lobotomy earlier this week. His new corporate position at Pilsbury begins immediately at an undisclosed salary.

If this thing pops out of your popin' fresh dough container,
toss it in a 450 degree oven immediately!

Rove was not removed forcefully from his White House Cabinet position
to take the heat off the other criminals still holed up inside.


In a related story, The White House has denied the rumor that
Vice President Dick Cheney has been recovering from brain surgery

"Look, just because I shot some rich lawyer clown in the face repeatedly with buckshot
doesn't necessarily mean I'm a dangerous sociopath.
The truth is, I got these stitches after I accidentally cut my head on the guillotine I have
in my torture chamber in the basement of the Vice Presidential Mansion.
And while I'm at it, I would just like to say to whoever on my staff took that jar with a frontal lobe in it in formaldehyde off my desk: that's not very funny."
Mr Cheney then got down on all fours and began barking like a dog.



In yet another related story The white House continues to deny
that Homeland Scrutiny Director Michael Chertoff is a blood sucking vampire.

Chertoff was asked why a roller skating rink in Poonrut, Kansas got the same amount of anti terrorist money as the entire state of New York.


The press conference ended abruptly when Helen Thomas held up a crucifix.


Home Scrutiny Director Michael Chertoff then returned to his office
after collecting bribes from various enemies of the state and feasting on the blood of virgins.