Monday, August 6, 2007

Who Are The Bush Base?

BUSH'S BASE : Who Are These People?

With the presidential approval rating at an all time low,
and the credibility of the executive branch considered dubious at best-
particularly after the administration's recent announcement that Osama bin Laden narrowly eluded capture by an elite Special Forces unit led by
Wile E. Coyote, Yogi Bear, and Mr. Ranger.
A numbed nation sat in a catatonic stupor
as Pentagon sources confirmed
that Mr. Coyote was indeed one of several animated agents
who have been recruited to help force the will of
multinational corporations on stone age cultures around the world.
National Buffoon investigators have learned that
Sgt. Yogi Bear also had the elusive 7 ft tall terrorist on a dialysis machine
in his gun sight a month ago but was distracted by
an insurgent's pic- a- nic basket
according to Mr. Ranger, his commanding officer.
National Buffoon's Washington correspondent
Kent Clark went undercover
to interview the Bush faithful.
What makes this group tick?
What drives them to be so vocal and the rest of us to drink?
National Buffoon takes a look at
these few remaining supporters
wreaking havoc on the environment
with their constant release of hot air.
These are the people who would vote for him
without the aid of Diebold machines
even as he ransacked their homes,
killed their pets, and urinated on their floors.
Who Are These People? Indicting minds want to know!

I. Bin Brainwashed
Connedquiteeasy, Pa.
former steel factory owner

"Saddam caused 9/11...has wmds...
Give country to Mexicans... God is a pro corporate business republican
who hates gun control, lazy american workers, & 'dem homos...
Bush not moron... Bush good!"

Annie Eyesore III
Smogburns, Texas

Oil Heiress
"Ya might as well jest gimme all your money now
' ya pathetic tree humpin' liberals.
You been holdin' back daddy's company fer 2 long.... Now your gonna git it!!!!
Unca Dick sez dat we gonna keep Iraqi oil off da market till dem barrels are 500 bucks.
Ha Ha
Thanks Unca George!

Ook and Mook Oops
Yuma Guma, Arizona
Hunter - Gatherers

"Ug, look... fire come from tiny box!"

Mrs. Anita Enema
Severelyretarded, Fla.
Fanatic Christian right pamphlet distributor

"Watch Hannity yup watch Hannity gotta watch Hannity...."
Clanliness is next ta godliness...
Gonna bring on dat rupture thang uh yup yup.
There's some Jews hidin under my house I tell ya
they're just a waitin' fer Jesus ta come by so dey kin convert 'em.
Hey Rush, how much are you payin' dis week fer dem Oxys?
I need to raise some cash to pay for that image of Jesus
on a piece of toast I bought on e- bay last month.

Thor Higherthanallhell
Crack Town, Kentucky
In the distribution business

"Cough, hack, wow, go away man...
My boss pays me to vote fer republicans.
They're pro "business" if you know what I mean.
he gets his inventory direct from CIA black ops guys.
Cough, hack, righteous! "

Slosho Hammered
Whiskey Trail, Missouri

"Hic, yous knows erp I vote for whoever buys me Hic a bottle,buurrrpp."

Peter Puller
Wadstown, Ohio
lives in mothers basement

"Ma told me this would happen if I kept yankin it... geez."

Stark Ravincrazy
The home for the criminally insane, Baltimore, Maryland
Serial Killer
"God told me to strangle my family,
machine gun a fast food joint, & vote for bush."

Bill O Really?
Lala Land

"Clinton's Fault, (Geez I'd like to loompha that Greta Van Whatsername...) yup"

Latrine, Alabama
Dental Hygienist

" I cain't read but I thigkt I vuted fer 'em.
I ment ta vute fer David Duke, he's ma luver and ma cuzin.
(and ma granpaw). But Bush is just as good, YUP!"
I hates dem libs what Ann Coulter knows about.

Sean Hannity
Hooligan Skids, N.Y.
self-aggrandizing fascist tool

"After flunkin out of skool Ol' Jerry Falwell
gave me an honorary degree from his joint.
So let that be a lesson to all you kids out there.
You don't have to study no heathen science,
read no left wing text books or nothin' !
Just tow the line for bloated corporatist fascists
and intolerant ignoramus types and you'll go far.
I'm ready for my close up Mr. Ailes, I put dem fishnet stockings on just like you asked.....
Of course they do pay me to support the regime.
What's today's I mean talking points Mr. Murdoch?"

Brutus Pain
Reemaway, N.J.
Pharmaceutical Sales, Amateur Surgeon

"Ha Ha Ho Ho He He..."

E. Silly Duped
plushytown, Con-necticut,
Professional of some sort

"I believed when Bush said he was going to take care of the wealthy
he meant people like me making 100,000 a year or so.
I think I'm in his elitist club but they laugh at me when I'm not looking.
I sure appreciated that 300 bucks he gave me as a bribe to look the other way
when he gave his corpulently wealthy cronies 350,000."

Goose Stepping Brownshirts
Para Military Wanabes

"We always go in for this sort of thing."
"All Heil Der Deciderer"

A. Jackass
Dumpsville, Virginia
Organic Fertilizer Specialist

"Hee Haw"


Anonymous said...

It is true that the national buffoon is operated by buffoons as evidenced by this article.

This article shows just how the political correct crowd is not concerned about including all us fine folks.

By the way most of those folks shown in this article look like hard core demorats if you ask me

libertarian1 said...

Hey anonymous. If you identify with the people in this satire, don;t expect any humans to include you in much of anything.

Do you realize you said Hannity and
O Rielly looked like democrats. This is not about republicans or democrats incidentally but about morons and thieves vs. sane conscionable people. You certainly don't have to be a democrat to oppose corporatist fascism. You have to be an idiot (or just plain evil) to support it however.

Editorial Staff said...

A comment from the editorial staff:
anonymous, we are highly offended that you referred to us as politically correct.
(lol have you seen the articles around here?)