Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Lawmakers Compete For National Buffoon "Buffoon Extradinaire" Award

"The law is a horrible business."
- Clarence Seward Darrow

National Buffoon salutes buffoonery of all kinds, from the nefarious charlatan, the intellectually challenged, to the common nitwit . This month we have a look at some Lawmakers who obviously are buffoons...but is their buffoonery extraordinary enough to echo through the hallowed halls of the National Buffoon? Let's have a look.

Thinking Inside The Box (groan)

Our first contender is Wisconsin Justice Patience Roggensack, who recently wrote a majority opinion with three other buffoons er, uh, justices, declaring it to be illegal in Wisconsin to dig up cadavers and have sex with them. Now is there a plague of necrophilia in Wisconsin? Or was this OK until last month? Apparently after much discussion, the Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled 5 -2 it was indeed not lawful because a dead person could not give consent. The dissenting justices feared the decision might affect their own inclinations towards members of the bovine community... they argued that moo was close enough to more indicating legal consent.

Justice Roggensack ponders the issue.

Men At Work With Guns And Bozos

No, it's not a concert with Colin Hay and Slash. The 2nd contender for Buffoon Extradinaire this month is the entire Florida legislature, who recently passed a befuddled 39 page bill that gun advocates in the legislature claim as a victory but gun control advocates in the same legislature also claim as a victory. Wow, must be a great law if it pleases both sides right? Well aside from the actual lawmakers no one thinks it makes any sense. It gives employees the right to carry fire arms at their jobs, but bans customers and employers from carrying firearms. Seems the NRA isn't pleased, and customers and employers are not pleased. (They are filing challenges). Something must be in that swamp water in Florida that acts as a nutrient for buffoonery. 39 pages of obtuse in-articulation and absurdity. Nice work, Bozos.

Though I'm not sure just who to nominate for this bit of buffoonery (or is it indeed brilliance?)
In New York, you cannot dissolve a marriage over irreconcilable differences
until both parties agree to it.

Americans Are Not The Only Contenders
When it comes to dumb lawmakers and the laws they create of course there is international competition for the top spot. For instance in the land that gave us the barometer, electric battery, nitroglycerin, wireless telegraphy and pasta has been enacting some buffoonish laws of late. In Italy, it is illegal for men to wear skirts. Well , I guess Scotland isn't all that far away. It seems the inferior er, uh, interior minister, Roberto Maroni, has given cities additional powers to address security and public decorum issues. And they have wasted no time turning their hamlets and cities into clown houses and bad vaudevillian circuses. The use of lawnmowers and electric hedge-clippers is banned on weekends in Tuscany. ( Annoy your neighbors during the week?) In Novara, Piedmont, the mayor issued an order this summer prohibiting groups of three or more people from gathering between 11:30 p.m. and 6 a.m. in public areas. in Eraclea, a resort on the Adriatic coast, beach games have been prohibited and activities such as digging in the sand are prohibited. In Rome tourists are not allowed to drink or eat within 200 feet of a historical site (What is not a historical site in Rome?) There is A 50 euros fine for lying down in a park in the northern city of Vicenza to read a book. Ho Ho! Good old fashioned Reich fun I guess. Of course Italy's neighbor, Switzerland did not wish to be left out of the competition. It is illegal in that country to flush the toilet after 10 p.m.
Not only that, but a man is not allowed to stand up and pee after 10 p.m.
(Are they light sleepers? Or loud peepers?)

In South Korea, traffic police are supposed to report all bribes that they receive from motorists. Now in the UK, a man was arrested for laughing. Here is the particulars: A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. She noticed a young man smiling at her and felt humiliated She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing...... She had him arrested. When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a rude manner. He told the judge "when the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant.. She sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins’. I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: ‘William’s Stick Did The Trick’. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:
‘Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’
The charges were dismissed.

1 comment:

Kat said...

OMG! Had to say I love the mona lisa.