Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Amazing Strange Similarities Between Lincoln And Santa Claus
Strange But True Eerie Similarities Exist!
Lincoln had Marfan's and Santa Claus has Marzipan.
Lincoln and Santa both have towns named for them.
(Lincoln Nebraska, and Santa Fe N.M.)
Neither man has 8 letters in his name.
Lincoln Freed Slaves, Santa has Slaves. (Elves)
They both have beards!
They both suffered from eating disorders.
Lincoln sent Sherman to Georgia, Santa sent George a shirt.
Lincoln was shot in the head, Santa Claus drinks shots and uses the head.
As a Lawyer, Lincoln was familiar with legal clauses,
and as a lecher, Santa wants to show you his Lincoln log.
Lincoln split rails. Santa splits his pants.
Lincoln had a stovepipe hat. Santa comes down stovepipes.
Lincoln was known for his Gettysburg Address.
Santa was known for his North Pole address.
Lincoln was slain, Santa was sleighin'.
Lincoln's wife was named "Mary", Santa often says "Mary Xmas"
Both men have been spotted on the moon with Elvis by the National Enquirer
Santa‘s loyal helper is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
Lincoln‘s loyal helper was Ulysses S. Grant, a red-nosed alcoholic.
Santa’s wife bakes cookies. Lincoln‘s wife was baked most of the time.
Lincoln lived in the White House. Santa‘s house is also white, because it’s covered in snow.
Lincoln suspended habeas corpus. Santa often wears suspenders.
Lincoln said "four score and seven years", while Santa "scores" with seven year olds.
Lincoln thought Washington was the seat of power, Santa wants you to sit on his lap.
Lincoln read Plato's Dialogues, Santa wears red.
As a young storekeeper in New Salem, Illinois, Lincoln walked a mile on foot to return a customer's change. Santa leaves presents that you have to drive to the mall to exchange.
Santa brings toys to children, Lincoln lost two children.
Lincoln debated Steven Douglas, Santa masturbates in Payless shoe stores.
Lincoln saved the Union, Santa shaved his bunion.
Lincoln lived in a log cabin, Santa leaves a yule log on your floor.
Neither of them have middle names, drove Buicks, or wear sandals.
Lincoln ran for president, Santa Claus has runners on his sleigh.
Lincoln was assassinated, Santa has a fat ass.