Breaking News- Trump Calls Press Conference, Announces Something Unintelligible!

Trump mumbled something or other while gargling with his enema backwash Tuesday.

NEW YORK — Inside the Trump Tower — past the Trump Bar, the Trump Grill, the Trump Cafe and Trump’s Ice Cream Parlor, beside the storefronts selling Donald Trump neckwear and the basket of Donald Trump books —  Donald Trump descended a golden escalator and stood at a lectern in front of  no less than eight American flags (made in China) Tuesday and gargled with his enema backwash. In between gulps a few words were discernible, “ [glub]I’m really[glub] rich,” he said.

Apparently Trump is pretending to run for president AGAIN! Well, at least until his Celebrity Apprentice show returns in the fall. Until then, we can expect to hear the sound of enema gargling along with the clown horn beeping, and general douchebaggery from the other perennial professional candidates. Well it's great for comedy....not great for American democracy, but that may be a moot point larger than the one on Mike Huckabee's swollen head.