Monday, February 13, 2012

Buffoons On The March

Former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien discovers
that it's very hard to look cool if your in charge of the military
and you wear your helmet backwards.

"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
- Donald Rumsfeld

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
- George W.Bush

"The difference between Sly Stallone and me is I am me, and he is him."
- Arnold SchwarzeneggerPardon me, but your Freudian slip is showing

Sometimes we have what is referred to as a Kinsley Gaffe or "Washington Gaffe".
Telling the truth by accident.
When a politician says something inadvertently in public
which he or she privately believes to be true,
but which he or she would ordinarily refrain from saying publicly
since he or she believes the statement would be politically harmful or damaging.
The term comes from journalist Michael Kinsley,
who famously said, "A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth."
He first coined the term in The Guardian on January 14, 1992.

"We are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed"
--Ronald Reagan

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Former Vice President Dan Quayle, Sept. 15, 1988

"I stand by all the mis-statements that I have made..."
-The American former Vice President Dan Quayle
has been a leading buffoon for quite a while now.
The man was born with his foot in his mouth.
"I have no problem communicating with Latin American heads of state
- though now I do wish I had paid more attention to Latin when I was at school."

On another occasion he told befuddled Western Samoans:
"You all look like happy campers to me.
Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been,
and as far as I am concerned, happy campers you always will be.
Then he told passing mourners at a funeral to "have a nice day".

Margaret Thatcher once addressed a meeting:
"It is marvelous to be back in Malaya"
The only trouble was that she was in Indonesia.

Kenneth Clarke, the former Tory Chancellor,
while addressing a group in Consett in March, 1995
"At Consett, you have got one of the best steelworks in Europe.
It doesn't employ as many people as it used to because it is so modern."
(The factory had closed it's doors in 1980.)
As if that weren't enough to convince the people of Consett
that Clarke knew little of their plight and cared less
he further insulted them by saying...
"Consett is also one of the major centers for disposable baby nappies (diapers)."
That factory had closed down four years before Mr Clarke made the speech.

U.S. President Nixon landed at a Norfolk air base in the late 1960s
and publicly praised "Prime Minister Macmillan".
Harold Wilson was Prime Minister.

Even Brits, who are known for keeping a stiff upper lip,
must find it trying to stay in form on occasions like these.
A year or two later, Marshal Tito, the Yugoslav leader arrived at Heathrow,
walked straight past Prime Minister Edward Heath,
who had his arm outstretched in welcome,
and shook hands, instead, with his baffled chauffeur.

James Watt,
an oil company lawyer,
who Ronald Reagan sardonically appointed Secretary of the Interior
said he had formed an advisory group comprising
"a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple - and we have talent".

Anyone not insulted yet?

The undefeated chump,
um, champ...yes champ
of course needs little introduction.

The Former President G.W. Bush

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th." -- Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

"And there is distrust in Washington.
I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town.
And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."
--interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,
and so are we.
They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people,
and neither do we."
--Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

(watch the clip)

Bush also said
"You can fool some of the people all the time,
and those are the ones you want to concentrate on."

"The problem with the French is
that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."
(entrepreneur, is of course; a French word.)


Dear Fellow Constituent: The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations.
The Library will include:

1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.

2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.

3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.

4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.

5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.

6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.

7. The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.

8. The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.

9. The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.

10. The Iraq War Room.
(After you complete your first visit, they make you go back for a second,
third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
 11. The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location,
complete with shooting gallery.

12. The Environmental Conservation Room,
still empty.

13. The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.

14. The Airport Men’s Room,
where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.

15. The Decider Room, complete with dart board,
magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.  
The library will also include
many famous Quotes
enshrined on plaques
George W. Bush:

1. ‘The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.’\

2. ‘If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.’

3. ‘Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.’

4. ‘No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.’

5. ‘I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.’

6. ‘One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.’

7. ‘Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.’

8. ‘I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.’

9. ‘The future will be better tomorrow.’

10. ‘We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world..’

11. ‘One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.’
(during an education photo-op)

12. ‘Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.’

13. ‘We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'

14. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
--GWB at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C.


Jack Abramoff:
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors

Though we are all mere buffoons passing through the sands of time,
some are nothing more, passing gas and wasting time.
Wouldn't recognize a glimpse of truth if it fell on them.
They are The Buffoons Extraordinaire.
The Elite Republican Guard of trumpery.
The laurel wreath of subnormal ignorance rests proudly on their swelled heads.

Remember folks-
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

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