Sunday, December 30, 2012

Surviving Austerity Idiocy

Large Group Of Miserable Asswipes
Gather In D.C. To Ensure The Future Sucks

"God grant us the austerity to defund America back into recession, the courage to ignore basic economics, and wisdom to know everything we do can be reversed by a future generation that is far more intelligent than us dipshit pudfaces! Boo hoo boo hoo wah wah etc."
Who Is This Fiscal Cliff Anyway?
Fiscal Cliff is a pseudonym used by Austerity Santa who does not come down the chimney but enters via the back door once you've been beaten into submission and robbed.

Q. What will happen when Fiscal Cliff comes?
This is a good question, especially since the words “fiscal” and “cliff” are usually associated with events having dire consequences. Neither presidential candidate had any clue of the fiscal cliff during their decade-long campaign, so we had no warning. This is like you are driving down a mountain road and suddenly there is no guard rail and your car goes hurtling over the edge and you realize you have no health insurance and your VISA card has just flipped out of your wallet and you see in the rearview mirror that a some unsavory vagrant person has picked it up off the ground.
Then you are hogtied and told to squeal like a pig.
The Queen of England,
wearing a 60 million dollar hat,
will then lecture you on the need to cut back spending for essential services
while multinational corporate raiders steal whatever is left in your wallet.

Q. Can’t Democrats and Republicans agree in order to fix this?
Democrats and Republicans actually agree on a lot, like the need to be re-elected and to give themselves raises every year for doing squat. They diverge when the subject of the top 2% of wage earners rears its immaculately coiffed head. Republicans want to spare rich people any tax increases. Democrats want to find interns to send naked pictures of themselves to.

Q: Who can we  blame for this crap?
Washington Post-Pew Research Center poll this week found that a majority of Americans would blame Republicans. But 48% blame bears or Martians.

Q: How can we fix this?
Donald Trump will pay off the entire national debt if Obama would admit  that he was a pawn of the secret Muslim government from Mars.

Yes but how does one survive this Fiscal Cliff Austerity Bomb?
Here are the suggestions from National Buffoon:

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