Monday, December 10, 2012


Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' in the oven...especially if its a Holiday Fetus cookie!
Put some in the rubbish outside your local "pro life" fanatic's house. Drives 'em wild.
Very festive!

The gourmet on your list will fully depreciate this gift!
How to make twinkie pie, PBR Egg Nog, opossum  pudding and numerous suggestions for cooking Pork Rinds and Hog's maws as well as "unidentified varmint's inards" on an engine manifold are also included.
Edited by the banjo playing kid from "deliverance".

One lump or two?
The tea drinker will be speechless upon receiving this thoughtless gift from you.
"And will you take that tea dirty, madam?"

Naked Legless Father Christmas apparently suffocated in a plastic bag.
Who would not be absolutely traumatized to receive this???
A classic!

The Margret Thatcher Nut Cracker.
Always timelessly tasteless.
What better way to honor the the most beloved prime minister in English history?
Among her great and glorious accomplishments were the final subjugation of Scotland and Ireland,
the re-establishment of the English Empire, and the complete destruction of the Argentine nation!
The only competition with this is the Ronald Reagan Can Opener.
Or perhaps the George W. Bush memorial butt plug.

A perennial favorite!
Comes with a $5 off coupon redeemable at your local hospital emergency room. 

The self propelled rolling pin...
because you get way too much exercise.

The home made gift always is fashionable, never unappreciated by the recipient.
In this case for instance the gift was personalized
 for the occasion by the use of little Suzie's own father's head.

Originally marketed in Japan as an educational toy,
The "shave the baby" doll is just disturbing as it gets.
Why not ruin someone's life by wrapping it up as a gift?

Or why not just give them raw poultry!
Be sure to let it sit out at room temperature
for a few hours first so that it isn't useful.
They'll just loathe you for it!

It's always hilarious to give running shoes
to anyone wheel chair bound!

Those vacuum cleaner haircutting devices.
Always god awful!

 The Chimney Jesus Tree Ornament
Always tasteful!

Remember folks...
The reason for the season!
It's the solstice!!!
So punk your friends,
And embarrass your family!
And be sure to go see the
National Buffoon
Holiday movie
in theaters this season...

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